Much Ado About Having Sex With Lesbians | Autostraddle

It has been a huge week for homosexual-related basic individual narratives in liberal-and-feminist-but-mostly-heterosexual journals!

All of our basic part involves united states via xojane, the ladies’s website went right up by Jane Pratt (my personal character)

(I’m major) of




Entitled ”
I’m a Lesbian Pillow Princess
,” this piece is part of the “it simply happened in my opinion” function which also existed at JANE magazine and consists largely of writer/reader-submitted reports of subjectively fascinating private experiences.

The private author of this portion, which we’ll phone “Ariel,” is truly bisexual, but because she easily provides blow jobs to the woman male lovers but does not time or usually go-down on females, she’s, she clarifies, commercially, just a ”


Pillow Princess.” (She additionally makes reference to herself as “mostly directly” and “straight” at some other points in narrative.) Her reputation began, she explains, when her very first lesbian hookup — a smokin’ hot dyke named Kelly at her college — transpired on her for one hour. She la-la-la-loved it immediately after which right away fled the world fearing her own inability to execute this type of fantastic cunnilingus upon Kelly for such a prolonged time frame.

She writes:

“not surprisingly, term had gotten around that she and I had installed and that I’d left their dangling, which in fact had the strange effect of giving myself folk-heroine status. Kelly called myself a “pillow princess,” and henceforth, I was one. It had been like some form of movie conceit where champion is recognised incorrectly as a high profile and extends to ride in a limo and stay in an elegant lodge considering it.”

This it seems that entirely worked out in her favor, as she romped about in university connecting with many “aggressive types just who got off regarding the idea that I became unwilling to leave a female touch myself.” Post-college, she shifted into the internet, in which she marketed her calm status and frequently found with women for NSA intercourse.

Nearby the end she problematically explains that when connecting with a woman she actually is maybe not keen on, she just closes her eyes and envisions someone else “while [the lesbian] really does the woman thing.” Sometimes it appears like she wishes females to eat her out because they are presumably better at it than men are. She


decrease in it but “I’m not online dating them, and I don’t think I would personally wish to have my personal fetish corrupted by caring for somebody sufficient to surrender.”

I’dnot want to stay close to Ariel on an aircraft, but the woman one-sided intimate activities are consensual and she’s merely informing a genuine story of the woman life, so I’m not necessarily sure what to make of this (and I also’m curious to understand what you make from it, if something).

Next, on Jezebel (via
The Good Men Venture
) we’ve got
I Married a Lesbian (And I’m a man)
. The author, Hugo Schwyzer, “tended getting crushes on the same sorts of woman: the star baseball member, the soccer ahead, the swimmer. Some had been lesbians. Some were not.” The guy wondered:

What exactly is it that drew me oftentimes to women who had been same-sex attracted? It surely wasn’t the stereotypical male dream about what they certainly were doing in bed, therefore truly had nothing to do with a macho opinion that i possibly could switch a gay woman right.

In elements, the part (which really does tred on some stereotypical surface) reminded me of your estimate from

The Girls Nearby

that I quoted in an article about feminine maleness

“…if we had in order to make an added generalization about lesbian flavor, it will be that the majority of you tend to be powerfully attracted to females, gay or directly, gorgeous or perhaps not, which look as if they are able to manage themselves.”

The author sooner or later marries a lesbian which offered as direct, and he found their unique causing sex-life to get unsatisfactory. She would not offer him blow tasks and failed to like penetration but joyfully approved their offerings of cunnilingus. Whenever their unique sexless marriage finished in separation and divorce and a drug relapse (for him), he or she is relatively caring to their ex-wife’s fight in the place of labeling the woman as deceitful (as many of this commenters perform):

She had originate from an old-fashioned household that would have-been significantly embarrassed getting a homosexual youngster. She may have recognized, but did the girl far better hide it, possibly wanting that the woman thoughts might transform. Or she may have been like many ladies I’ve known, and only discovered the woman real intimate identification after currently getting married to a person.

What is actually redeeming about any of it essay in my experience that the author’s conception of his personal gender is certainly caused by without any the original masculine posturing one might expect in a bit like this (he actually means himself as “femmy”). Perhaps it seems that means because men very rarely discuss wishing strong, athletic, effective women with short hair; but it’s refreshing nonetheless.

I do not mistake Hugo or Ariel for telling their unique stories, but it is well worth discussing that both narratives appear to drive on the idea that bed room conduct may be the ultimate/only litmus test of sex. Hugo and Courtney enjoy each other’s company, but Hugo cites Courtney’s disinterest in entrance as a “warning sign” the guy skipped, whenever entrance is rarely a specifically heterosexual work (this indicates much more likely Courtney feared the intimacy of entrance with one she didn’t truly want becoming with, but really that knows) and slipping crazy, in the end, means the vagina but it’s also regarding your heart and it’s mostly about having romantic feelings. Those intimate feelings are the thing that converts a hook-up relationship into a relationship, most likely.

Ultimately at

we have a nice story right from pony’s throat —
My Very First Time: Female. 17. San Francisco
. In my opinion this is basically the first-time the “First Time” series has actually highlighted a lesbian.

Fundamentally, in ninth class, the author confessed to her best friend that she had lesbian thoughts for her, and her companion reciprocated, and they proceeded to continue a stealth lesbian connection and they are nevertheless with each other today and she actually is a grown-up inside military!

This indicates they will have but to get their unique connection out of the wardrobe, that will be a little puzzling, but whatever

. [


: Turns out this story had been authored before DADT was actually repealed, though it just got posted, consequently there is nothing puzzling occurring here. This is just straight-up sweet in almost every way, unequivocally.]

The focus associated with the part (that will be really sweet and nice) is on mcdougal’s development of
just what lesbian sex is quite

We’d never gone down for each different, and that I was confident that’s what we would meant whenever we mentioned we wished to make love. (today I realize that absolutely a lot more to fucking than licking a woman’s snatch and contacting it everyday.)

She concludes:

I am aware that the majority of folks disagree regarding what virginity way to a gay woman, but virginity is wholly subjective, plus it truly will depend on who you’re inquiring. Some individuals might state entrance needs to be included, but In my opinion it really is as much as the individual shedding his/her virginity. If I feel just like I missing my personal virginity, next goddammit, i’ve!

I’ve spent a lot of early morning and afternoon watching wordpress, racking your brains on what point I could create about any of these pieces. I was thinking much about why we’d never submit “I became a Lesbian Pillow Princess” about this web site but cannot work through the reason that I’d worry 50 of you would vow not to go back right here together with remaning many-thousands people would combat with each other about bisexual erasure/lesbian erasure before temperature loss of the market. We pictured some one submitting “I Was a Lesbian Pillow Princess” to us via mail after which I dreamed the article meeting where we’d can that story and all say “NO” while doing so.

In searching for a point to gleam from all of these stories, i have tried to determine what might imagine or say, and that I cannot, and I also would you like to complete this blog post quickly to speed up the whole process of me personally determining what you think about these stories. Yup, the very first time ever since starting Autostraddle, i have got not a clue what you should state about anything. Therefore possibly I should only want to know — what exactly is the reaction to these parts?

Prior to going!

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